#WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW!!!!
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there’s something truly mind shattering about two people who meet as baby teens and then again as older teens, and fall in love—but is it love?? The beginnings of something like love?? Something that tastes, and smells, and feels just like love— but they're both way too immature in their own ways and time does NOT heal all wounds, and meeting again as adults where one has the fury of the fucking SUN in her hands and the other would be down to pull an Icarus if he had any less control of his heart, and what are they??
I mean, it’s quite unhinged to believe that anyone should fight so damn hard for someone who refuses to accept the love he thinks he don’t deserve?? Aren’t they tired??
Aren’t they tired.
No. They’re in love. They always have been. But the numbskull Baxter finally got a clue. So they’re okay and I’m clearly not.
#vn: our life b&a#gb patch#post type: rambling#so about the Baxter dlc mmm?#how we holding up y’all?#I just finished and now I have to go to work tomorrow and pretend to be a Normal Person#I’m actually sick#I have not felt like flinging myself into the sky since AEDL (Logan’s route)#WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW!!!!
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Take It Easy☀️
#haikyuu#hinata shouyou#haikyuu fanart#anime fanart#fanart#madsart#digital art#anime#I just finished the Haikyuu manga#good god#what am I supposed to do now????#go work for all my hopes and dreams?????#literally the best manga ever#I’ve never felt so alive#so happy#I cried like 7 times#just between the nekoma match and the end#god#so good#a masterpiece#I’m so very proud of Hinata my baby
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Hero.
#legend of zelda#echoes of wisdom#loz eow#loz#zelda#tri#josh art tag#been meaning to do a full on stained glass drawing for like 2 years now lol#ive had ideas but none really stuck with me until this one#and the reason why is cuz this one was more of a scene! it wasnt just a normal drawing made to look like stained glass#it had what is supposed to be a literal window with someone standing before it looking up at it#also i find the timing of this drawing funny#cuz i just recently changed my shading style to resemble stained glass even more so than usual#cuz for years now ive gottem comments saying#my style reminds people of stained glass#and sometimes i see it sometimes i dont#cuz my shading style changes and sometimes it really did look glass like#but other times i dont think it did?? but i still got those comments??#maybe its like the way i do lineart or block out shapes?#idk but recently when i was growing tired of my previous coloring style i remembered those comments#and decided to lean into it#but now just a little while after that#here i am doing a legit stained glass illustration lol
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when its 4am and the whole squad is zooted out their gourds trying to read the overhead menu in mcdonalds
#baldur's gate 3#i've been them all#wyll: the smell of dirty fry oil is making him green out#astarion: 100% of his energy is dedicated to keeping his face perfectly neutral. he hasn't said or heard a word since they left camp#lae'zel: wait. where do my arms go. how do i noramlly hold my arms. what. am i supposed to do with my arms??? ogh god everyone knows im hig#anthrael: has been trying to read the menu for 13 minutes now but the pictures on the screens keep changing too fast
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uh oh………………terrible news. I miss them 😭💀
#WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW.#rvb#red vs blue#michael j caboose#lavernius tucker#agent washington#epsilon#my art rvb#richard simmons#dexter grif#franklin delano donut#sarge
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I… um… yeah I just… I gotta… give me a…
… no yeah… I just gotta… excuse me… Maybe I… Uh…
#he has too much power over me#it’s truly unholy#sir I have a chemistry test in an hour what am I supposed to do now#f1#formula one#Jenson button#formula 1
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you know the rules and so do i
#oceangate#titanic#burger king#i just feel lost man what am i supposed to do now that the corporate overlords are gone i just feel empty man
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how will I ever be normal again after seeing unmatched adoration for the universe on crowley's face after watching him smile so openly speak so passionately with shining hope in his eyes how how
#good omens spoilers#go2 spoilers#good omens 2 spoilers#covering all the bases with the tags#im jsuy. what the fuck am i supposed to do now whawbdd#good omens#good omens 2#lore dec
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you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
#writeblr#warm up#my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky#i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles#yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help#for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT#and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen#than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say#''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help#i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't#actually offer fair support to everyone#we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help#bc i DID have it better than other people#and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn#instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself
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A new pop-up store dropped for ALIEN STAGE's 2nd anniversary and wow. It's so sick.
It's Interesting what exactly these experiments are focusing on and monitoring.
Instrument practice
I found it interesting earlier that Till was so tame, more so than he usually is when he's going through experiments, but music, and making music is what he loves doing, So he was fully in his element here. This was probably the only thing he was made to do by the aliens that he at least tolerated.
(Additionally, judging by his collar (orange), he was at least calm. maybe he just isn't fazed anymore.)
//Side note, that head contraption looks familiar BUT this most likely isn't related at least i hope
(It puts me at ease, at least..)
Dance practice
This surprised me, but I suppose Mizi needed more skills.
She looks very startled here, and nervous(?) +It looks like she's doing this while singing. And with that face covering I assume this was a test monitoring her dance balance, precision, etc. At first, I did think it was odd, "Why would Shine put her through that" But alas I was reminded that even though Mizi is the flower of the group she was never untouchable, to Shine, this was the equivalent of teaching your dog to sit and stay.
(seeing this it reminded me of those scenes in movies where the people are dancing, and the music gets faster and faster until they fall. I wonder if she was doing through something similar to that)
Singing practice (?)
Similar to Till she also looks quite calm outwardly, if the machine around her neck is an iteration of the collars they have, then this process wasn't something she liked, or given how intense this experiment looks, this was a test of high-pressure to ensure she always stayed calm during performances (?). Then again this could also be a posture practice given all the structure focused on maintaining her position.
(What I believe was another form of this test was shown before so I think so)
(With her hands in a praying stance I wonder if she was praying to herself or singing a religious song (sweet dream?) It's also interesting that the machinery around her looks like a halo, and she looks so...angelic? holy?)
Image making practice
By image making, I think they made Ivan replicate expressions with his face. Whether this process was painful for him or not...I'm not sure. But it looked visibly uncomfortable, maybe that was the point. (His expression, even in this circumstance is so dubious..)
Ivan, among other things, needed to have a spotless appearance to be successful, his image was a priority given his skills were certainly guaranteed.
I assume the aliens eventually took note of his lack of expression, in the real world this can be a detriment to one's career, so the Aliens had to ensure quality was perfect. (To a more...dedicated level)
Superiority test
'Superiority test' Is very vague.
HyunA is very calm here too, likely sedated in that water with all the tablets on her. I guess this was a test to get an idea of a pet human's strengths and weaknesses, endurance, and temperament to compare and contrast them with others, testing who is more viable for Alien stage?
Another interesting, and sad part about this is that HyunWoo was there, watching his sister through her experiments.
(Also, it looks like both of her legs are normal, no alien leg yet.)
Heart rate variability
And finally, the most visceral of them all. The wording 'variability' makes this all the more sickening, the Aliens were testing his heart hours, testing it at different rates, speeds, and states. And he was in agony the entire time. Even the way he's clutching his chest, it gives me chills. This would've been a completely harmless test in a normal setting, as something quite similar to this can be performed efficiently in real life. But he's being tortured in the process.
This is one of the first times we've ever seen Luka's face so truly clear and unprotected, (understandably so.) He's even crying.
#alien stage#alnst#WHATFRV EHBFUCKKKKKKK#i am devastated#GET TILL OUT OF THERE FUCK#HE DESERVES TO DO WHAT HE LOVES WHEN HE WANTS NOT BECAUSE OF THYEGAUUUUUU#now usually i dont feel bad nor care for luka but seeing this...seeing what heperu did for myself..its more nasty in person#fuck urak fuck heperu fuck phan fuck whatever sua's guardian is#ALL BUT SHINE#GR#hyuna's experiments boggle my brain...what the hell is superiority even supposed to mean....#i dunno#but i guess hyunwoo passed (or is next) its so sad how that baby had to see his sister go through that#explodes#get those babies out of there#sua with religious symbolism is back once again dont be surprised if anakts real child is her#she proved it in sweet dream#alnst till#alnst ivan#alien stage till#alien stage ivan#alien stage sua#alien stage mizi#alnst sua#alnst mizi#alien stage hyuna#alien stage luka#alnst luka#alnst hyuna#alien stage hyunwoo
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love when you can ask the Narrator why the Princess is a Princess and he's like 'well i uhhhh YOU did that. maybe it's because uh... something something about her being above you... but still approachable... look i don't want to analyze or anthropomorphize your--' my guy. i am a primal being of Order and Eternity and Shaping. You're the one who convinced me I was some dude and were quite willing to take credit for shaping my view on the world through narration five seconds ago. Are you gonna look me in the eye and tell me the desire to interpret something worthy of adoration and more powerful than me as a dommy princess is written in the very nature of the universe or are you going to show me your browser history like a man
#this is a joke but the 'so where did i get the Idea of a princess from??' still stands#since we remember nothing and don't seem to have many ideas about like. what the world looks like#but when given the conception of 'we're a hero' from the narrator's Quest#we immediately go to 'so the thing you're telling us to kill is a Princess' -> i.e something I'm not SUPPOSED to kill#and in fact am supposed to respect and cherish#and/or pledge eternal loyalty to#(and then on a deeper level we KNOW that we're the dragon#we're the biggest threat to her we're what has the power to trap her and keep her here#we're a monster just like her)#but my point remains. as a god-entity stripped of memory where did we get the idea of a (human/like) Princess. do we still have like...#the threads of common narratives sort of built into our structure b/c we're the god-half concerned with Shaping and Naming and Order?#that would kind of slap#anyway uh. dragging myself offstage now#slay the princess#slay the princess spoilers#stp spoilers
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I feel like F/P/S was still a pretty weird one, even by Lance's standards.
sorry for (in an ironic twist) not doing much Ride Kamens art now that it's actually started; I've been pretty slow going through it and I feel weird posting about things I'm not caught up on! though I'm. definitely gonna have to set aside some time to actually get through episode 13, after what they posted today. (w-what did they do to my Leon) (NOBODY TELL ME I HAVE TO FIND OUT ON MY OWN) (LEOOOOOOOON)
#art#ride kamens#f/p/s#freedom/play/slam#it's probably not as dramatic as i'm imagining i'm just terrified for our sweet boy#smh can't believe leon's bald now#this is why i don't like to post before i get caught up i have NO IDEA#anyway sorry this. kind of sucks. it just made me laugh#i love the sheer absurdity that must be lance's day-to-day#it's amazing what you can get used to i guess#event chaosworlds are bizarre even for chaosworlds though#(poor shizuru...he was SO confused about the bread...)#i admit the events are one of the reasons i've been so slow at the main story#i told myself i was going to put my foot down and prioritize and not get distracted by the next event#and then they announced frilly prince froufrou tea party wisdom boys and RUINED MY LIFE#how am i supposed to get anything done when all i can think about is jou just going absolutely ham on some tiny cucumber sandwiches#how dare they do this to me
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Guys... i am not doing well.
#like.. what am i supposed to do with this knowledge now#I WILL THROW MYSELF OFF A CLIFF#he is so down bad for her and he didnt even know it#colin you dumb dumb i love you but why u so dumb#bridgerton s3#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton#colin bridgerton#penelope featherington#colin x penelope#polin#colin#penelope#penelope and colin
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(Tents fingers) So I've had a very indulgent Lethal Company OC concept on the mind for a while, and now that I've drawn it, of course it's spiraled into a 80+ panel comic HILJKFD
Employee names are tentative right now, but they go by Cap'n, Kid (shortie, actual name is Scoot), Skeets (tall one, short for Skeeter) and Mav (wide one, goes by that or Maverick). Genders are also tentative, but I'm warming up to the idea of them all being women with Kid being the only boy!
Value keys for the comic are under the cut, along with some story beats/thumbnails and the uncensored version of Cap'n's injuries from the attack! (It's sketchy, but it is drawn gore so be warned!)
#artists on tumblr#lethal company#lethal company oc#eyeless dog#lethal company eyeless dog#blind dog#werecreature#wereeyeless dog#<- needs a better name#wereblind dog#<- also bad. what else am I suppose to do man? hIKLJFD#eyeless weredog#<- infinitely better name. friend mentioned it. adding it to the tags now.#my draws#sfw#blood cw#honestly after I did the 'Cap'n circling the ship' visual I was like 'OKAY time to wrap this up. I got to exactly where I wanted to get to.#also you have to imagine Mav with Pearl's voice from SU. It was an accident however that is currently their voice claim.#I'm saying 'the names are tentative!' but we all know that's a lie. Ratman's name was tentative too....... I hate coming up with names hILK#capn tag
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I uh, got myslef into another fandom... Send help I'm gonna go insane and binge the whole show second time in a row aaaaaaaaaa
#the magnus archives#tma#tma fanart#The magnus archives fanart#jonathan sims#tma jon#the archivist#Holy fucking shit this show is godly good oh my god i love it h#Give me another 200 episodes#What am i supposed to do with my life now????????#art
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Ghost after meeting Soap.
Price : Have you slept?
Ghost : Depends what day it is
Price : Go to bed.
#cod mw2#simon ghost riley#captain john price#implied ghostsoap#implied soapghost#ghost is a catboy by the way#Soap is more complicated because he's a cat person and doesn't like dogs but also he's very dogboy leaning personality wise#dad price for the win even if he's only old enough to be big brother price; he's 50 spiritually according to his 'kids'#price would be like 'ok do you want to talk about it?'#and ghost would look at him like 'what do you mean “talk about it” what happened to bottle it up like normal people?'#“i'll just forget all about it” ghost tells himself#and then soap is bumping into him in the corridor and smiling up at him with the power of the fucking sun and wow ghost is in love fuck#i was supposed to draw something for valentine's day but my brain was all no : funny scene first but now it's 9:30 am and i haven't slept#maybe expect something for valentine's day at some point - probably not today tho but like at some point this week maybe ?
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